Buddha’s idea of personalization
More than twenty-five centuries ago it was Siddhatta Gotama, the Buddha (the Awakened One), who discovered a different way of understanding and solving this same problem of low self-esteem or inferiority complex. He called this problem "dukkha," which means, “pain," or discomfort both physical and mental. He saw this as the "discomfort of being," (bhava dukkha). The word "being" here refers to “being a self." In other words, this “self-consciousness" or consciousness of being a "self" or having a "personality," is the problem. We tend to personalize and identify ourselves not only with our body and mind, but also with things outside the body, such as our family, our culture, our nation, our job, our financial and social status, our educational qualifications, our achievements, and all such internal and external material and spiritual things that people normally identify with.
This identification is also called “personalization" (upadana) in Buddhism. It is through personalization that we acquire a "personal identity," or "personality.” To "personalize" is to think and feel, "this is mine.” One tends to personalize the body by thinking, "this body is mine." The body becomes a personal property. In the same way one personalizes sensations that arise and pass away in the body. One similarly personalizes perceptions, conceptions, emotions, actions, and consciousness itself, as “mine.” One personalizes, not only the body and the mental processes that continue inside the body; one even personalizes external objects, like one's family members, one's ancestry, one's social status, one's job, one's income, one's house, one's car, one's bank account, and many more such things. The sum total of all that has been personalized becomes one's "self." What has been personalized is what one identifies with, and calls “mine” or “myself.” Then one’s “identity” becomes what one identifies with or personalizes. In other words, the Buddha saw that personality is only a concept, a perspective, which results from personalization of perceived objects such as the body and the mind. It is accompanied by a mental image of how one sees oneself, and is therefore called the “self-image.”
Having "personalized" things and having thus created a "self-image," or personality perspective (sakkayaditthi), one then begins to compare these “personalized objects" (upadhi) with those of others. In other words, having identified one's "self" this way, one begins to compare oneself with other selves (mana). Not only does one compare one's body or mind with that of another, one even compares one's social or economic status, one's house, one’s car or any other personalized property. By comparing this way, one begins to feel inferior (hina mana), superior (seyya mana) or equal (sadisi mana). This is how the problem of self-esteem begins. Personalization results in a personality, which is seen as one's "self," and this self-consciousness leads to comparison with other such selves, resulting in the low "self-esteem,” "inferiority complex," and the whole host of psychological problems described above. They are all the consequence of personalization and the formation of the notion of "self." The painful experiences recounted above are all the result of this personalisation. It may be true that out of all the animals in the world, the human being is the only animal that is aware of a “self.” This does not, however, mean that this “self-consciousness” has to be preserved despite its painful consequences.